For years after the Iraq war I was torn up inside. I had chronic back pain, daily migraines, constant flashbacks and night terrors every night. I was going through so much pain inside and out that I was pushing everyone in my life away, ruining relationships just to get away from everyone with their suggestions and comments. I basically turned into a hermit sitting inside my apartment for days on end forcing myself to relive every battle I went through.
It was no way to live. I found myself in the pits of depression thinking daily about ending the pain and torture forever by my own hands. It was only through the grace of God that I learned how to escape from that hell. It’s not like I don’t still struggle with it now and again. I have my days, but what I learned is so simple that anyone can do it.
I had to let go of the past in order to have a future, which is harder than it sounds when you have Combat PTSD. Staying in the moment and immersing myself in love, family, and salvation is has changed me into a better person. It’s so simple if you really think about it. It’s what comes natural to us because that is how God built us.
As soon as I started changing how I thought and what I should believe in, my life did a complete 180. I’m married now and happier than I have been in 12 years. Day in and day out I immerse myself with the love of my family, I volunteer to help fellow veterans, and I to keep God in mind when I make every decision in my life.
I still have nightmares and flashbacks, but I’m living a better life because I choose not to immerse myself in the past and things that aren’t real. I feel the best mentally now than I have since getting back from war, I feel like I’m winning at life. Now take what I have learned and make it yours, start changing now, it’s never too late.